Unmasking Autism: Understanding Autistic Masking and Its Impact

For many autistic people, the world often feels like a stage. Not because they want the spotlight, but because they’ve learned — often from a young age — that their natural way of being isn’t always accepted or understood. This is where masking comes in.

What is autistic masking?

Autistic masking (sometimes called "camouflaging") is when an autistic person consciously or unconsciously hides or suppresses traits that are seen as "too autistic" in order to fit in.

This can include:

Children at School:

• Forced Eye Contact: A child might learn that teachers expect eye contact, so they stare intensely at someone’s forehead or flick their eyes back and forth — not because it’s comfortable, but because they’ve been told “it’s polite.”

• Imitating Peers: A student might watch how classmates sit, speak, or interact and then copy those behaviours — like laughing when others laugh, or pretending to enjoy a game they don’t actually like, just to blend in.

• Suppressing Stims: A child might sit on their hands or keep them in their pockets to avoid flapping, or clench their jaw to stop humming — not because the stimming is bad, but because they’ve been told it’s “weird.”

Adults at Work

• Social Scripting: Practising or mentally rehearsing “small talk” before entering a meeting, so conversations feel manageable and less risky.

• Mirroring Colleagues: Adopting the tone of voice, slang, or body language of coworkers to avoid standing out or seeming “awkward.”

• Masking Sensory Needs: Enduring fluorescent lights, background noise, or uncomfortable clothing without complaint, even when it’s causing genuine distress — because asking for accommodations might seem like “too much.”

• Over-smiling or Nodding: Using facial expressions as a social shield, even if they don’t match what the person is actually feeling internally.

Internal Masking — What Others Don’t See

• Constant Self-Monitoring: Tracking every move, word, and expression during social interactions — second-guessing if they’re “doing it right,” or worrying they’ll be misunderstood.

• Pretending to Understand: Nodding along in conversations when something is confusing or overwhelming, rather than asking for clarification — to avoid embarrassment or seeming “slow.”

• Delayed Responses: Staying quiet in fast-moving conversations not because there’s nothing to say, but because processing and forming a response takes time — and by then, the topic has moved on.

• Burning Out Afterwards: Appearing totally "fine" during social events or work days, then crashing at home, completely exhausted — needing hours or days alone to recover.

Masking in Everyday Conversation

• Saying “I’m fine” when overwhelmed or melting down inside.

• Laughing at jokes that aren’t understood to avoid seeming rude.

• Pretending not to be bothered by a change in plans.

• Pushing through overstimulation instead of asking for a break.

Masking is a survival strategy. It often develops in response to repeated social rejection, bullying, or pressure to “act normal.” Over time, it becomes second nature — but it can come at a serious cost.

Why do autistic people mask?

For many, it’s about safety — emotional, social, or even physical. The pressure to conform can be strong, especially in environments like school or work, where difference is often met with judgment or exclusion.

For some, masking is a way to gain acceptance or avoid punishment. For others, it’s a deeply ingrained habit built on years of being told they’re “too much,” “too intense,” “too quiet,” or “too weird.”

Importantly, masking isn’t always conscious. Many autistic people don’t even realise they’ve been masking until much later in life — often after burnout or diagnosis.

The hidden cost of masking

While masking might help someone "pass" as neurotypical in the short term, the long-term impact can be profound:

• Mental exhaustion: Constantly monitoring and editing your behaviour is exhausting. Many autistic people report being completely depleted after social situations.

• Anxiety and depression: The disconnect between your inner world and outer presentation can contribute to chronic stress, anxiety, and low self-esteem.

• Identity confusion: If you’ve spent years pretending to be someone else, it can be hard to know who you truly are.

• Autistic burnout: This is a state of extreme mental, physical, and emotional fatigue that can be triggered by prolonged masking and sensory overload. It can take weeks, months, or even years to recover from.

  
  

  

  
  

Masking and diagnosis

Masking can delay or complicate diagnosis — especially for those with more internalised presentations,women, girls, and marginalised genders, who often internalise social expectations more deeply. Because they appear to "cope" or "blend in," their support needs may be overlooked.

Some are misdiagnosed with anxiety or personality disorders instead. Others go undiagnosed until adulthood, finally making sense of a lifelong feeling of difference.

So, what can we do?

The first step is awareness — understanding that masking exists and recognising its effects. From there, we can:

• Create safe spaces: Environments where people are accepted as they are — where stimming, silence, or non-traditional communication is welcome.

• Challenge social norms: Rethink what it means to be “polite,” “professional,” or “appropriate.” Whose comfort are we prioritising?

• Listen to autistic voices: Many autistic adults are sharing their experiences online, in books, and in community groups. Their insights are invaluable.

• Support authenticity: Encourage and celebrate difference, rather than pushing conformity.

Remember, masking isn’t about deception — it’s about survival. When we unmask, it’s not because we’ve changed, but because we finally feel safe enough to be seen. And everyone deserves that.