Just as physical scaffolding supports a structure as it is built, emotional and cognitive scaffolding provides the necessary guidance, strategies, and encouragement to help individuals develop resilience.
Resilience is often described as the ability to bounce back from adversity, but it is so much more than that in reality. It is the capacity to adapt, problem-solve, and persist through life’s challenges.
Resilience isn’t something innate – you’re not born with it. It is built over time through supportive environments, meaningful experiences, and skill development. As Paediatric OTs, this is the way we explain it to both parents and other adult supporters, as well as the children we are lucky enough to work with.
However, an alternative narrative that we are often up against is that resilience is developed through hardship alone. The outdated idea that children (or adults) simply need to "toughen up" by enduring difficulties without support can be counterproductive. Instead, we must scaffold resilience—providing the right level of support to help individuals build their capacity while gradually reducing assistance as they develop skills and confidence.
What is Scaffolding?
Scaffolding is a well-established concept in learning and development, where support is provided based on an individual’s current ability. Just as physical scaffolding supports a structure as it is built, emotional and cognitive scaffolding provides the necessary guidance, strategies, and encouragement to help individuals develop resilience.
In an occupational therapy context, scaffolding might look like:
Breaking tasks into manageable steps and offering guidance where needed.
Teaching problem-solving and emotional regulation skills explicitly.
Providing a safe and supportive environment to practice independence.
Encouraging gradual exposure to challenges rather than overwhelming experiences.
Using strengths-based approaches to build confidence in one’s own abilities.
These are all great strategies to continue to use in the home environment, away from therapy, to practice strengthening resilience skills, with support.
Why Scolding Doesn't Work
Scolding, criticism, or punishment for struggling through challenges can undermine resilience rather than build it. When people—especially children—are met with blame rather than guidance, they are more likely to experience anxiety, frustration, and avoidance behaviours.
This can lead to:
Fear of failure and risk aversion.
Decreased motivation and self-efficacy.
A tendency to seek external validation rather than developing intrinsic resilience.
Rather than saying, "Stop crying, it’s not that bad," a scaffolded response might be, "I can see this is really tough for you. Let’s take a deep breath and figure out what we can do next." The goal is not to remove all discomfort but rather to guide the person in developing the internal and external tools to manage it effectively.
Practical Ways to Scaffold Resilience
Validate Emotions:
Acknowledge struggles rather than dismissing them. Phrases like “It makes sense that you’re feeling frustrated” help build emotional awareness and regulation.
Teach Coping Strategies:
Equip individuals with strategies like deep breathing, self-talk, sensory regulation, and problem-solving techniques.
Model Resilience:
Demonstrate positive coping strategies in your own actions. Share stories of overcoming obstacles and making mistakes without shame.
Provide Incremental Challenges:
Start with small challenges and celebrate effort, not just success. Gradually increase difficulty as confidence grows.
Encourage Reflection:
Help individuals reflect on what worked and what didn’t, fostering a growth mindset rather than fear of failure.
Building a Culture of Resilience
Resilience is not built in isolation. It is fostered in families, schools, workplaces, and communities that prioritise connection, learning, and support. And it’s far quicker to build and generalise by practice over a greater number of supportive environment with different situations, not dissimilar to scaffolding a building, where it would take a single worker a lot longer to do than where there are 3 or 4 workers completing the task.
In occupational therapy, we champion the idea that true resilience is not about enduring alone but about being equipped with the tools and support to thrive. By shifting from a punitive, “tough love” approach to one of guidance and empowerment, we help people of all ages develop the resilience they need to navigate life’s complexities.
So let’s scaffold, not scold, and watch resilience grow.
For more individualised strategies - chat to your Occupational Therapist!
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